What a heart can hold....

"Lord...I cannot,
But, you can."
I reminded myself every time I glanced at  the dry erase board where it was written in bold black letters.
So many responsibilities, people that need a gentle touch,some that need the 'stern look' some that need laughter and smiles. All need Jesus. They don't need me but they need Jesus. And since I am where God wants me to be...Then I /we are those hands,feet,smiles,bandages,jokes,songs,ect.
Sometimes...I wonder how much a heart can hold.

I hold a tiny baby...so tiny and malnourished it squeaks barely audible sounds. Tears fill my eyes. Ellamae walks behind and I notice the tears in her eyes as well. My heart hurts...then  after I've finished the babies 1st feeding and bathed his tiny body I walk back to my room.
A funny old guy awaits me...wanting to talk and laugh...so you switch. Gone are the tears..now smiles and a listening ear. "Mis Mali..I have hypertension in my ears..I didn't say my heart I said HYPERTENSION in my ears!!!" I laugh. .."Ok Monsieur...do you have ringing in your ears??"

"Ahhh,yes mis yes...you know." I turn away from him to jot down the ear drops he needs. Hiding my smile.

This is the little boy...he died during the night. I have to remind myself that...I can only do so much. Leave the rest in God's hands.

Mis Kayla and Madame Leger were happy to discover that they were matching! (Btw...Madame Leger looks grumpy..but she had been laughing her head off a minute before;)

Fre Nores and I decided that we matched as well😉

Living in a land of mountains...is beautiful but dangerous...this brave little tyke went to tie his goat to a patch of grass. A rock came tumbling down the mountain and pinned his little hand. 

-true and amazing fact:he didn't cry or complain at all...while we cleaned and bandaged it. I'd have given him a bravery /honor badge if I could have!!!

She was mad at her father-in-law...so she took machete to his head. Thankfully it wasn't to deep....8 stitches closed it up nicely and a good saline wash...he was all set to go. Before he left he had us all laughing. "Mis yo...I'm not sure why they did that but I think it's because I can't hear well. They call me and I don't answer. But it's not my fault." He gives us that pleading look and we all reassure him that, no it wasn't his fault.

This is my 'happy picture' little Mirlene Felix is a ray of golden sunshine. She comes dancing into the clinic with a hug and kiss for everyone. Even the white guys!!!(if they are lucky enough to be there) I brought her over to see Donny and Thea's little girls one day. She was delighted in little whites. After we walked away she looked up at me with wayyyyy-to-smart little face and asked."Mis Mali, was that 'lotbo' ? Meaning America. She is a plumpy Nut patient and doing amazing. Her flashing white grin captures your heart.

And....this is my little sister Isabel...I think she makes a wonderful little nurse controlling blood pressures and giving patients her happy contagious smile. 

I know you're wondering why this picture...my title of this blog is How much can a heart hold" for those if you who appreciate nature and it's beauty....this makes a heart glad. After weeks of working in the mountains and with sick people, IV's,blood,puke,diarrhea, death, stress...ect. this too makes you wonder how much the human heart can hold. I don't know...but I know this. That HE is able...thru willing hearts and hands to do amazing things. Anywhere...not only here but wherever you are. He gives strength .

Happy nurse.

Mis Mali