The tears silently slid down my heart, as a lifeless little body slid into my hands. “God please”, was the prayer that echoed quietly from my lips, as I unwrapped the tight cord three times around his neck. Surveying the little one, I simply saw no trace of life, which them prompted my next move, CPR. Seconds passed, before I grabbed the stethoscope, to listen to a much wanted heart beat. Nothing. I continued, all the while making sure mother was in good condition. Marcile had just entered the clinic gate and soon
joined me. We continued to work with the baby, but before long it was clear that we did all we could. I had glanced from time to time, at the faces of the parents, as they watched things unfold. Hopelessness was more and more seen, the longer things went on. We had tried our best in trying to get baby to breathe, but it was clear that the little one wasn’t meant to live life here on earth. My heart ached, and the tears threatened to flood my eyes, when I walked into the hospital room where the mother laid on her bed. The tears were streaming down her face, as she mourned for her child. I wanted to reach out to her and make things better, but I knew I couldn’t. So, I just stood by her bed, silently praying that God would be near her through this time. That same day, I assisted at the birth of a different mom who later went home holding her healthy baby girl.
I will never know the “why” behind some little ones dying in childbirth and others living; but this I do know, that it’s God who ultimately chooses life or death, and that there is always a purpose behind everything he does.
Although, there are moments of pain, there are still moments of beauty and things to be thankful for. I’m reminded of that daily: through the smile of a child, the music of praise playing loudly just before clinic opens, the laughter as friendships are being made, a flower, the little child running along with excitement as his handmade kite trails behind, and the songs of praise erupting from the mouths of loved ones over the safe delivery of their newest family member. These are a few of those “hidden” blessings, that serve to remind me to be thankful for the gift of life, but also of the sustaining strength, faithfulness and goodness of God.
-Mis Michaela Smith